Updated Version: SIGNS OF A TOXIC FAMILY

Depression is often a misunderstood and misdiagnosed concept. Given how debilitating and life-choking depression can be, it's really essential that we truly appreciate the complexity of this condition. A one size fits all label that obscures each individual's unique circumstances is terribly short-sighted and perhaps inhumane.

Often, depression is what I call situational. In other words, outside stressors and the culture that we live may cause, contribute to or exacerbate this disorder. When dysfunction appears at epidemic rates, we need to take a deeper look at what's going on.

I wrote 10 signs of a Toxic Family:

SIGNS OF A TOXIC FAMILY:

1) NOTHING YOU CAN SAY OR DO IS GOOD ENOUGH.

2) THEY COMMENT ON THE SMALLEST FLAW OR PERCEIVED IMPERFECTION.

3) THEY DRAG UP YOUR PAST AND WON'T ALLOW YOU TO BE DIFFERENT.

4) THEY ACT LIKE THEY ARE ABOVE YOU AND NEVER MAKE MISTAKES.

5) THEY MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY AND ASHAMED OF WHO YOU ARE.

6) THEY ARE CRITICAL, CONTROLLING AND DON'T THINK ABOUT YOUR NEEDS.

7) THEY LEAVE YOU FEELING BEATEN, WOUNDED,  BATTERED, BRUISED AND TORN.

8) THEY VIOLATE OUR BOUNDARIES AND THEY NEVER RESPECT, " NO...".

9) THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND THEY LOVE TO SEE YOU SUFFER.

10) IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THEM, AND WHAT THEY THINK, WANT AND FEEL.

Often those inflicting this situational depression are too doltish to know what they are doing to the individual.

~~~~~~~~~~

 
Stephie Pahlavi Zan

You can not make someone love you

I have learned that...
you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
No matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
It's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
You can do something in an instant that will give you a heartache for life.
No matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
You should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
We are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
There are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
True friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. The same goes for true love.
Just because someone doesnt love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
No matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
No matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
Just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
We don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
You shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
There are so many ways of falling and staying in love.
No matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
The people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
Although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.
Love is not for me to keep, but to pass on to the next person I see.
There are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
Every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I still have a lot to learn...... 
 

Stephie Pahlavi Zan

Human Rights!

The decrees Cyrus made on human rights were inscribed on a baked-clay cylinder. Cyrus the Great, the first king of Persia, freed the slaves of Babylon, 539 B.C. ... He declared that all people had the right to choose their own religion, and established racial equality. Persia!

Iran's History.

~~~~~

Stephie Pahlavi Zan

Don't Give Up

What is the purpose of our lives? 

Life's purpose is to be happy. 

We have no guarantee what will happen in the future, but we live in hope. 

 This is what keeps us trying and going.

If we can't enjoy the simple things in life;

We are missing the meaning of life. 

Don't give up. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Stephie Pahlavi Zan 

Brand New Story ~ To the People of Iran

Let us not ponder upon the past. It will simply take us backwards.
Look to the future and start fresh.
Put all of your energy and thoughts into a brand new unblemished tomorrow.
It is of the essence.
Don't dream of something you have no idea about.
Don't drive in reverse.

The past is full of cobwebs and dust.

The future is new and clean.

Don't imagine that the past is better than where you are right now.

Renew.

Move forward.

If you are in a bad place, change it for the better, brighter and new you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stephie Pahlavi Zan

Down or Up

 I have always had parents that were controlling and I received only conditional love. My first 3 cars were Mercedes.....very nice cars but if I did not do what they said, they would take it away. Everything came with strings. I said I wanted to be an actor when I was a kid. My parents said, "Not everyone can be another Paul Newman." Ironically I went to Boarding School with his daughter and we would go to her house in Westport, CT. and naturally met her famous parents. Whether you want to play actor at home or for a living, the only person you need permission from is yourself. Staying alive is good, but feeling alive is better!

~~~~~~~~

Stephie Pahlavi Zan

Death Drama Queens

No matter what the relationship was, once someone dies... they border on Sainthood. Everything has a self- serving need to be part of the life of   the deceased since   they, for lack of a better word  
are
The Star of the Moment.
It is sick and twisted,
however, people who didn't really know the deceased
come out
of the woodwork and want to get in on the
limelight of Death...
Death Drama Queens! 

~~~~~~~ Stephie Pahlavi Zan

I Love You Always...Marry Me.

When I'm thinking about how beautiful you are......I stroke your face with my hand

When you cry.....I wipe away your tears

When you feel happy.....I feel  happy also.

When you feel blue.....I am your cheerleader

There are so many things and occassions that I will be there for you.

This is how I know I want to Marry You!

~~~~~~~

Stephie Pahlavi Zan

I Love Dogs

"If someone does not love dogs... don't trust them." 

~~~~~~~~~~

Stephie Pahlavi Zan

Eternal Love

Call on Me...

Call on Me..

Call on Me.

I am the Lover you dreamt about in your Angel filled Dreams.

I have sat awaiting your love for an eternity.

Please do not shun Me for I shall die.

My entire existance is the pure essence of You, My dear.

How you have entrapped Me like a Siren.

If I had known what I know now ..

If only I had known what I know now.

I do not wish to exhibit My Undying Love for You, My dear.

However it is completely Transparent.

Awaken

and see me.

I am your Destiny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stephie Pahlavi Zan